FEELING FAT is an emotional trigger. It has nothing to do with being hungry, it has everything to do with your inner-self.
Yesterday I had a bad bad FEELING FAT day.
The good news is that I finally figured out what triggers these days and I’ve set up a strategy to have fewer and fewer of them
In a nutshell:
I used to weigh over 250 pounds. My scale maxed out at 250. I know I was up as high as 280 because my doctor tortured me with the number. Did I ever weigh over 280? I will never know.
I didn’t instantly lose 120 pounds … the weight loss came in stages.
I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Over the next few years I discovered Low Carb Dieting, then the Keto Diet and finally Fasting. I would focus on my diet for a month or two and would then work on maintenance … keeping the weight I’d lost OFF permanently.
The first weight loss surprise came when I spent three months in Mexico. I cam home over 50 pounds lighter. Read my story here.
In spite of my successes, I would have days or even weeks of FEELING FAT. I get depressed and discouraged and those FAT days are like black holes to me. I don’t want to talk to anyone, interact with anyone and I don’t want to work. I have to force myself to write a hundred words.
I get so black that even my kitty BOO gets worried. He comes and sits in my lap and purrs so loudly you’d think he was an industrial sized lawn mower.
Yesterday was a BAD day. But instead of letting myself fall into the black hole, I watched one of my favorite “gratitude” videos and I wrote in my gratitude journal.
I am so grateful, that kitty BOO reminded me
there is always a reason to PURRRR.
I also meditated on feeling FAT.
Coming out of my meditation I had an EPIPHANY.
I had spent the entire day eating. Eating to the point of WAY too much. Eating to the point of feeling WAY too full. I was basically “grazing” on food the entire day.
When I was really fat I used to binge to the point of almost throwing up. So though I didn’t eat a whole box of chocolate or two giant bags of potato chips, I ate way more than I “should” have. Instead of having a three hour long binge, I was eating something almost every hour, never allowing my stomach to empty out … never allowing myself to actually get hungry!
The image of a cow grazing, pretty well sums it up. LOL and NO I am NOT calling myself a cow … I left that behind years ago.
I discovered that it was the feeling of having been BAD that catapulted me into the black hole … a flashback to the feeling of being grossly overweight and FAT. I was beating myself up for eating too much. I was allowing myself to feel the FAT I carried when I was 280 pounds. I chose to feel fat, instead of celebrating the 100+ pounds I had lost. I chose to feel fat, instead of celebrating my TIGHT and strong BUTT and the fact that I swing kettlebells and walk miles a day.
The feeling of blackness is like getting sucked into a tornado and then being spit out in a deep depression … which sometimes days to crawl out of.
Now that I am aware of what TRIGGERS my feeling FAT days
and the ensuing depression. I can stop it.
On a daily basis I can acknowledge the gratitude I have for having lost weight, for knowing how to and what to eat and at being privileged to live in a country where I have the choice of eating and a cornucopia of food choices.
Because I am now “aware” I will become more conscious of when I start “grazing” and I will stop. I know I can stop because several times a year I fast for one (and up to two) weeks at a time. It is a choice, and I will simply choose to go on an immediate mini-fast which will stop my constant eating.
I will also use all the tools I have at hand that keep me on an even keel so I don’t START overeating. AND I will look for the triggers that start the grazing process. Hypnosis, NLP and trigger point tapping are tools that work … but only IF I USE the tools.
Each of us is profoundly different. What can YOU do when you are feeling fat?
1. Acknowledge the feeling and understand that “something” triggered it.
2. Work at discovering the trigger.
3. When you trigger something, there is ALWAYS a starting point in the cycle … see if you can identify the starting point.
4. Even on the road to discovering the triggers and starting point, you can take steps to counteract feeling FAT. Write in your journal, in your gratitude journal.
5. Allow yourself a mini-binge once a week. The rest of the week when you are tempted, promise yourself you can have whatever you want on your bing day. After several years of doing this, my mini-binges consist of sugar-free ice cream, sugar-free cheesecake and sugar-free two bite brownies.
6. Understand that paying attention and being conscious of your feeling fat triggers is 90% of the way there. It is easy to get sucked into a feeling fat day when you are not paying attention. Just the fact that you ARE paying attention can stop the process before it gets started.
7. Forgive yourself. Look in the mirror and love your body NOW.
8. Try fasting for half a day. The process of fasting put you in CONTROL and strengthens your WILL-power. Once you get to 12 hours, extend your fast to 18 hours and then to 24 hours.
9. Give in. I know this sounds counter-intuitive. A psychologist friend suggested that instead of resisting I just give in to the blackness — curl up under a heap of blankets, suck my thumb and feel sorry for myself. LOL it actually works! The challenge is to remember to do this when you start diving into the rabbit hole.
10. Start working on mini-habits. One mini-habit I use on a daily basis is to put on my walking shoes. The act of putting on my shoes propels me out the door and I end up walking anywhere from five minutes to over an hour. Another mini-habit is to measure out food each and every time you eat. For example, I love nuts … I can graze on nuts from the huge Costco container, OR I can measure out a quarter cup. If I want MORE I measure out another quarter cup. This keeps me conscious of what I am eating.
I understand that there will be times I will fail. I know that I will likely experience at least a few more feeling FAT days. I’m already forgiving myself and am resolved to keep on working at becoming aware of the Start Point. I may never get to zero FEELING FAT days, but then again … maybe I will! I thought I would never lose 100+ pounds and here I am 100+ pounds lighter.
Here are a few articles that might help:
Melanie Rockett has been freelance writing for over 40 years. About 15 years ago she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Her struggle to keep her blood sugar readings normal, led to years of research and experimentation. She learned to cook without sugar and started sharing information, recipes and diet tips on the Sugar-Free-Zone.com
